What angel does every night

My asshole can fit a car tire. If anyone actually reads this, keep in mind that an average asshole of a human being can dilate between 2-4 centimeters. One car tire is roughly 500x200 cm. So yeah, fitting a car tire in my asshole is probably a world record and should deserve a Guinness book of world records entry. My first piece of advice if you think you can beat this record is don’t even try. My second piece of advice is (if the first piece of advice is ignored), start small and gradually move on to bigger things. Anal bleeding ruins many articles of clothing including but not limited to socks and shoes. Actually, while we’re on the topic of anal stretching and clothes being ruined, you should know once the anus is stretched beyond 8 cm, the sphincter is rendered useless. Gravity will just pull turds right out of your ass with no regard for anything. If your diet is fiber rich, this may not be as big of a problem, as solid turds can be easily disposed. However, if you are a fan of taco bell, be warned that splash damage is a very real thing. It’s best during the anal stretching period to invest in a wide range of butt plugs. Not only will this stem the tide of fecal matter making dramatic exits through what can only be described as an industrial laundry chute, but with the proper fitment the plugs will maintain your latest stretch during downtime. Proper resting with a press fit butt plug is good and allows the body to accept the new monstrosity that is the size of your asshole. Anal fissures are a by-product of stretching too rapidly without the necessary downtime and recovery. Anal fissures are extremely painful, especially when infected by wet bowel movements. The only benefit of anal stretching is lack of fart noise. Like a balloon stem, the known fart noise is caused by air movement vibrating the orifice it exits. Noise intensity are directly proportional to air speed velocity, while harshness of pitch is indirectly proportional to size of hole. With an escape hatch the size of a mini-sub, air speed velocity is virtually zero, thus no noise is heard. Any gas produced by the body and exiting the colon tends to just waft out as produced. I’m not even sure the action of “farting” is a thing when your asshole can fit a small adult inside of it. I suppose technically there is some air movement, but it would be no more significant than running a leaf blower through the grand canyon. Finally, it should be cautioned to never leave your expanded asshole uncovered, as birds, fish, and reptiles will nest in discovered cave dwellings. This then becomes a health and safety violation in many public settings that is best to generally avoid. I personally recommend having a sealed traffic cone or small inflatable raft handy when leaving your asshole alone for more than 5 minutes. Butt plugs are an option but only if you are staying under 24 centimeters in diameter. Greater than 24 centimeters, and the butt plug industry will have to create a custom sized plug (which is costly and generally best to avoid). So in conclusion, when going to the extremes of anal stretching, keep realistic goals, but always prepare ahead of time for a size you may think unattainable. Your anus will surprise you.